I Was A Short Fuse Burning All The Time

Earlier this year, around the month of January, my sisters found their Chinese zodiac predictions for the rest of the year while glancing through a magazine. Despite the questionable validity of the source of the information, both were impressed by its accuracy to describe how current events were shaping up for the both of them. Later they told me my prediction as well, that this year would be one in which I focus on my family. Then I discovered my current yearly prediction based on my birth chart, which described how I’ve been living with my head in the clouds for the past few years, but this year I would finally move back down and become grounded in reality. Depending upon what sort of person you are, that may or may not sound like an enticing prospect. Usually I freely and proudly admit to being a perpetual dreamer, but there is something to be said for having concrete resolutions and achieving one’s goals.

Interestingly enough, though it is only March, I have seen evidence of both of the above predictions coming to fruition. In fact, both can be illustrated in one decision which I made just this weekend: instead of taking my third yearly trip in a row to Germany for Wave Gotik Treffen, I am staying stateside this year and vacationing with my family. Since WGT is in June, a high travel month, instead of its usual date in May, airfare, hotels, and the like are extremely pricey. Usually I don’t really take such things into account. Not to say that I have the funds to ignore cost, oh no, quite the opposite. However, I’m not good with denying myself, or with thinking about future consequences. I am like the grasshopper who sings and dances all summer long without thinking about where I’ll find food in the cold winter months ahead. So to suddenly do so, to debate the wisdom of my choices and the possible future outcomes, is somewhat novel for me.

There will be sadness, to be sure, especially when WGT comes and so many of my friends are partying without me, watching a great deal of amazing bands perform, and dancing and drinking that wonderful “Viking’s Blood” mead. But saving for tomorrow is filling me with an odd and newfound satisfaction. I feel the promise of tomorrow outweighing the party of today, and it is strange. I almost feel, dare I say it, dear reader, like one of those fabled “adults” I keep hearing so much about. (Not that this feeling will last, so worry not for Miss Pink! One of my planned family excursions will be to Disney World, and I wear mouse ears and run eagerly from ride to ride with just as much [if not more] vigor and excitement than any child.)

All of this really has nothing to do with music, unless you think of all of the bands that I will not be seeing in concert. But this is my blog, and it is about how I connect to the world through music, and so as I debate about my decisions, this song has been running through my head all day:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

New Order really are one of the most amazing bands, in my opinion. They have a song appropriate for just about any mood, from the highest high to the lowest low. No offense to the late great Ian Curtis, but I actually prefer New Order to Joy Division (blasphemy, I know!). Joy Division are a seminal band, and they influenced some of my favourite artists currently producing music today. But I’ve never had the urge to roll down the windows while I’m driving on a warm sunny day and blast “She’s Lost Control.” But give me “Age Of Consent,” “Ceremony,” “Temptation,” or “True Faith,” and that’s a road trip scene straight from any good movie. As for this video’s song, “Regret,” I can still clearly remember the first time that I really listened to it. I was working at a terrible job that I hated, my worst job to date. I honestly felt like it was sucking my will to live. I was depressed and felt like my life was moving nowhere. Then I heard this song on my car’s stereo courtesy of a free CD that came with a music magazine I had purchased, and the lyrics moved me nearly to tears. My heart suddenly filled up with hope, and I knew deep down to my core that things would get better. And they did.

Anyway, that’s all that I have for today, dear reader. Growing up. Weird. I’ll try it for now, but I make no promises that it will last.


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Filed under Artist Love, Music Videos

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